Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What are some creepy bestiality-promoting questions obviously asked for sexual gratification?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

Do you think trump realizes that if he significantly decreases the size of CIA, that there is a higher chance of him being assassinated?

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

My girlfriend lied and said she never gave oral until me. She was very skilled. I’m upset with her lying. Do I dump her?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How are max different from medical and minimum security prisons?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How much of lounge pianists playing is from repertoire, and how much is improvised?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can count

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t